Heard “Not tonight, honey” a few too many times lately? If it’s just not happening between the sheets for you and your lady, it might be time to learn what really gets her psyched for s ex. While guys are generally up for s ex whenever, wherever (regardless of the situation), women tend to need a bit more inspiration, according to Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D.
and David M. Buss, Ph.D., psychology professors at the University of Texas at Austin and coauthors of Why Women Have s ex: Understanding s exual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between). For a better understanding of how to get her in the mood, consider the following eight factors that Meston and Buss say affects a woman’s lib ido:
1. Her man’s appearance Men are usually considered to be the most turned on by visual stimuli (think about it: how many strip clubs and adult magazines are actually targeted toward females?), but women are actually quite turned on by a man’s face, bo dy and movement as well, say Meston and Buss. “s exually, women are attracted to men with masculine features, although not too masculine,” Meston explains.
“A little light stubble is usually a turn-on for women if it’s clean and well-kept. bo dy-wise, women generally find men with a V-shaped tor so or a high shoulder-to-hip ratio s exually attractive. Motion is important, too, as women find athletic prowess and agility to be s exual turn-ons.” The bottom line: If you’d like to get her in the sack, a good first step to take might be getting yourself into the gym.
2. The time of day Meston says that women are very individualized in terms of when they most prefer to get it on: “In general, women want to have s ex when they feel their best — when they have energy, feel connected to their partners, aren’t distracted by work or stressful daily events, and when they feel s exy — and that may or may not be at night.” In order to figure out when a woman’s most likely to be in the mood, pay attention to the times she seems the most energized and/or chilled out. Try thinking outside the box — you may find that she’d love a post-jog quickie right before her shower!
3. Certain smells Meston and Buss explain that, for women, sense of smell is far more important than it is to men when it comes to s exual attraction. Simply put: if a woman doesn’t like the way a man smells, it’s often a deal-breaker — whether she consciously realizes it or not. The number one turn-off reported by most women is — not surprisingly — bad breath, says Buss. A woman’s sense of smell also plays an interesting biological role in what attracts her to a man, according to Meston:
“Olfactory signals provide a woman with a wealth of information about a man’s health, hygiene, and even his ge netic makeup,” she notes. Pheromones — tiny airborne molecules that humans emit from various glands in their bo dy
— can influence a woman’s desire to be s exually intimate with a man. Male pheromones have been shown to provide information on a man’s symmetry, which is an indicator of g enetic fitness and ultimately can determine whether a man is gene tically compatible with a woman. “For many women — whether they realize it or not — scent can play an important role in determining her willingness to have s ex with a man, given her ‘sense’ of whether they can produce ge netically healthy, strong children together,” says Buss.